In New Zealand you get fat and throw yourself off stuff.

This is how Joe and Div described the country to me back in August. To be honest though there's been very little of that. Out of things, yes (planes, rafts); down things, yep (rivers and sand dunes); but the only 'off stuff' that I can think of has been underground ledges during caving, and even that was sitting in a big rubber ring. Plus we managed to avoid eating a fry-up every day.

In Wellington our plan was to spend the morning at their huge (and free) Te Papa museum before getting the ferry to the South Island in the afternoon. We checked out the hostel and walked back down the hill to where we'd left the car. Only the car was no longer there...and in its place were a selection of traffic cones. I was guessing it hadn't been nicked, otherwise those thieves would've had way too much time on their hands. Both of us were adamant that there were no signs up the night before indicating no parking, nor did any of the parking restrictions imply that we couldn't leave it there. We called the council, expecting to be told it was in a pound somewhere, but they just informed us that workers had arrived in the night planning on doing some digging, and any cars that were in the way had been towed to a different road ten minutes walk away. Now I've never heard of that happening before. But I won't complain though, it beats having to pay any kind of removal fee.

The weather was glorious for the two weeks we were in the North Island, and for the first couple of days on the South Island it looked like more of the same. But then the rains came. All our way down the West Coast. Mount Cook, the highest peak in all of Australasia is known as Aoraki to the Maoris, which means 'Cloud Piercer'. I couldn't tell you if this is a suitable name or not as we never got to see it. We never got to see much in fact, not unless it was less than 100 metres away. Dull grey mist for about four or five days was about the size of it. This was our view of the Fox Glacier. I certainly wasn't going to be climbing it.



The rains inconvenienced us in other ways as well. On our way to Wanaka and Queenstown we encountered the one and only queue of traffic that's probably ever existed in the whole of New Zealand. It was caused by a huge tree collapsing under the weight of all the water, blocking off the road. We waited around for ages just looking at it, as everyone else seemed to be doing too. Eventually turning up though were four blokes in orange jackets, three of them with machinery, two types of lorry, and a guy in a little digger that cleared the big tree.



We spent long enough in Wanaka to visit Puzzling World and that was about it.It houses the world's first 3D maze. It's estimated that you should complete it in 30 to 60 minutes. We took 31. I'd say that was a result.



As well as visiting the most northerly point on the North Island at Cape Reinga, we made it to the most southerly point of the South Island at Slope Point. While you can take a footpath to the Cape, to get to the Slope involves a 20 minute walk through farmers fields. And a whole lot of sheep.





Dunedin is Gaelic for Edinburgh, and they're fond of Robert Burns in Dunedin as much as they are in Dumfries. However, what really puts Dunedin on the map is the fact that it's home to the steepest street in the world, as confirmed by the Guinness Book of Records. So steep in fact that they've fitted a few benches at the top so you can catch your breath before going back down again. Sod having that road on your paper round.



The final stop on our tour of New Zealand was Christchurch, the least New Zealand-like place that we came across. Often referred to as "New Zealand's most English City", this basically just means that it has a large cathedral, you can (if you wish) go punting on the river, and the town centre's roads are called Manchester, Worcester, Gloucester and Hereford Street. Personally though, I'd say that if somewhere was described as the 'most English city', it should have a countless number of gastropubs, vastly overpriced tourist attractions, and identical houses stretching all the way out to the suburbs. Well, Christchurch has all these things too. That sounds a bit harsh, like having a go at the place. I'm not really, it's not that I didn't like Christchurch, it's just that there's not a really a lot there to get excited about. Or maybe my mind was just already on Melbourne and Australia.

Auckland to Christchurch via Pahaia, Omapere, Orewa, Hamilton, Rotorua, Taupo, Waitomo, Wellington, Picton, Nelson, Motueka, Hokitika, Haast, Queenstown, Te Anau, Milford Sound, Papatowai and Dunedin - 3104 miles